My cat gives me a boner
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
