Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
