If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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