Don't you send me to vm
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
