you turned your livingroom into a bong?
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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