it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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