I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I think I have vodka in my lungs
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Panties = found
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