I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
and you said cock pushups were impossible
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
