She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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