That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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