i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
