they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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