does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Randomize