Can i not drive my cunt home
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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