She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
