Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
