just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize
