No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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