I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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