You tried to poop in the sink last night.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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