Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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