guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
