why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
im having a threesome with these popsicles
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
