I want to have your abortion
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
