The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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