as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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