I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize