in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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