Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
