so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
they're like a gay fantastic four
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
There's always time for handjobs
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Randomize
