have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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