You're so nebulous sometimes
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
