I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
