I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
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