She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
