its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
it wasn't lemon gatorade
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
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