in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
