I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
