I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
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