is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
