HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
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