I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
