butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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