Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
