There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
