I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
