I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
