Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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