I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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