today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize