so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Randomize
