She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
