Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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