yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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