No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
