Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
